Publication:Sea Talk Summer 2006/Seagoing - the last phase of REOC
Public relations Reservist LEUT Kirsty Boazman provides a disconcerting account of the final phase of the Reserve Entry Officers' Course.
It was a special birthday this year: I peeled the eyes out of 30 kilos of potatoes and filled at least three barf bags.
The second activity wasn't related to, or anywhere near, the first. Lucky. Because it just might have put the entire crew of HMAS Tobruk off chef's shepherd's pie that week.
Such are the perils of having a group of land-loving Reserve officers on board. Sea training is the final element of our REOC initiation. The theory is that we see life at sea through the eyes of the sailors and their jobs: in the galley, the machinery rooms, stores, on the upper decks, the bridge, and standing watch.
Seven of us joined Tobruk in August: lawyers, journalists, a corporate psychologist, risk manager and doctor - all professions, except for the doc, as helpful at sea as a spinnaker with a hole in it.
 LEUT Liz Livingstone helps LEUT Debra Holland with her tie. Pic by LEUT Kirsty Boazman. |  Damage control : action as the ship simulates a hit from an anti-ship missile. Pic by POPH Steve Coates |
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Action messing - the entire crew passes through the main cafeteria as quickly as possible with all eating as quickly as their metabolism will allow. Pic by PO Steve Coates.
Being on a ship for the first time, wearing shoulder boards that give the false impression you know something, can be terrifying. We didn't know our "ho"s from our "yeo"s.
So where a sailor sees tedium and routine, we actually saw activities that other people put on lists of 100 things to do before they die.
89 Acid-wash rust stains off a warship. Done that.
55: Check the oil levels in a 2400 GHP marine engine. Yep.
42: Stack enema kits and ration packs in stores. Tick.
74: Vacuum and dust the XO's cabin. Once was enough.
Here I sit at my day job, wondering how to explain to the suits the 'out of your comfort zone' thrill that comes with doing everyday tasks on board a ship. There is something intoxicating about being at sea - apart from the fumes coming off the Omnipure.
For Reservists it's a step away from reality when even the most basic tasks become somehow more exotic. We wouldn't choose to sort mail, haul rubbish bins, hose down floors or even cook when ashore. But at sea these tasks take on new meaning.
We've now taken the experiences back to civvy street, along with some RAN words and phrases that appear to be applicable in any workplace.
- DCX
- the office meltdown that occurs when the photocopier runs out of toner and someone naively rips out the ink cartridge.
- Toxic hazard
- what's growing on the lasagne that's been tucked away at the back of the office fridge since Easter 2003.
- Return, recharge, restow
- the reason a week-end always follows late and messy Friday nights.
- Make it so
- covers anything from ordering a pizza to getting married.
- Upper deck evolution
- a workmate's new haircut.
- Radhaz
- the guaranteed fallout of simultaneously operating a mobile, Blackberry and laptop.
Thank you CMDR Michael Rothwell, Training Officer LEUT Heather Walker and the entire ship's company for being so accommodating - and patient.
